Why Saying “Congratulations” Matters

For today’s post, we asked our friend Dan Quist, Church Relationship Coordinator at Elim Christian Services, to share this personal story on the importance of celebrating each newborn’s life.
babyfeet - storyvillegirl

Photo credit: storyvillegirl, https://flic.kr/p/7vDUa9

I had the opportunity to present the 5 Stages at a church in Hudsonville, Michigan, in January 2014 and in attendance was a friend of mine from high school.  I have not kept in contact with her, outside of seeing her Facebook posts, since we graduated in 2002.

Because we were friends on Facebook I was aware she and her husband had their third child about 11 months ago and he was born with Down syndrome.  She of course, like every new proud parent, posted a picture of him on Facebook with all his birth stats and explained he was born with Down syndrome.  Without even giving it any real thought I just wrote the typical “Congratulations!” on her post and then wrote a little bit about how I work at Elim and I would be more than happy to walk down this road with them as they figure out their sons unique needs.  Keep in mind I must have been the 50th or 60th person to comment on this post.

quist_quote2Before I posted it on her wall I sat there staring at it thinking, “What if she gets mad? What if she responds, ‘Who do you think you are, not talking to me in 11 years and the first thing you say to me is this?’” I was worried about her reaction, but I posted it anyway.  Flash forward to me talking to her face to face in Hudsonville about the day Owen was born; and for the first time I found out her reaction.  Through tear-filled eyes she recounted the details of that day and then mentioned my comment on Facebook.  She told me I was the first person to say, “Congratulations…everything was going to be ok…her son was going to be an incredible blessing in their life.”

Thinking back on this story has reminded me of a couple of things.

First, every life…EVERY life, is a blessing from God. Whether a baby is born without deficiencies, or with Down syndrome, or with cerebral palsy….. each life is created in the image of God.  My friend’s son was born with Down syndrome and will live with it his entire life, but God has a plan for him just like every baby born that day, or week, or month.

Secondly, I’m reminded that disability awareness is lacking in our world. We need to help others recognize that a baby born with a disability is not something to mourn.  God creates each of us uniquely, with different abilities.  Our abilities or inabilities do not determine our value; we have value because of who we all are – God’s children.  God has placed a call on each of our lives, including the lives of those with disabilities, and we need to equip each other and all of God’s children to answer that call.

We need to change attitudes.

I hope my story helps you start by saying, “Congratulations!”

Quist PhotoDan Quist has been the Church Relationship Coordinator at Elim Christian Services since 2012.  He has also served as a paraprofessional in Elim’s Autism program.  Quist has a degree in Secondary Education and a Master’s in Educational Administration.  He resides in Palos Heights, IL with his wife and two kids.

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2 thoughts on “Why Saying “Congratulations” Matters

  1. As a father blessed with 5 children 2 of whom have down syndrome this story brings up memories for me. When my son, now 11, was born I found a profound difference in my friends reaction than that of my wife’s. She had people saying congratulations and asking questions even if less than with our firstborn where as my friends and acquaintances said nothing. We men are just not great communicators. I remember very well when one friend walked up to me in church and said I am not sure what to say but congratulations and I am sorry you were dealt a curve that was unexpected. I later mentioned it to him that it meant a lot to me. It was such a small thing I don’t think he remembered, but it was significant to me. I felt that I probably would have been one of the silent ones if the tables were turned. Often we say little or nothing because we think we need to say the right thing. We feel we need to give a verse with a profound impact or answers, just something to make things seem better, so when we do not have that we remain silent. Congratulations is a great start. Do not be afraid to say your not sure what to say or how you can help. I have always said asking the wrong question is ok it gets us somewhere. Saying nothing just keeps us in the same spot.
    Thanks for the reminder.

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